Brady’s Blog

good people of earth!

believe me when i tell you this!

i will NOT be appearing at the looney bin in tulsa, oklahoma until the 29th of this month!

then, i WILL be appearing!

and doing comedy!

also knows as standup comedy!

because i will be standing up!!

and i will probably do all of this in a very yelly voice!

just like this!!

thank you!

my beautiful bride goes out of her way to teach decency and character to our children..

i do not go out of my way to teach them how to be subversive and hypercritical..

they come by it naturally..

for instance..

one of the things my bride has drilled into them is this..

god first, others second, myself third..

it’s called the “i’m third” philosophy..

so, yesterday, our seven year old son davis had this question..

“but mommy.. if everyone does god first, others second, and their self third.. how does that work? that seems kinda hard.. like nothing would ever happen..”

we had a good chuckle over that..

i don’t like to encourage such smart aleck behavior..

but privately, as someone who has had the question “what if everyone did that?” accusingly posed to him a thousand times..

i was glad to finally hear it turned around..

ok..

this one is going to be tough..

delicate, as they say..

this is about my meniere’s syndrome..

and the way the guys at work refer to it..

i want to write about this because it is funny and has made me laugh a hundred times over the last few months..

but again..

it’s delicate..

basically, they have a name for my disease..

the initials are P.E.

the second word is ear..

the first word is not pterodactyl..

here is how they use this phrase..

it’s usually something like this..

(in the most sarcastic voice possible) “what’s the matter? your P.E. acting up on you?!”

makes me laugh every time..

even when i really am having P.E. issues, it still gets me..

and i’m not writing this to show everyone how self actualized i am and how i can take a joke aimed at me, etc..

i really just think it’s funny..

and they mix it up a lot too, of course..

attributing all kinds of ridiculous ailments and symptoms to my P.E.

if i’m cold and put my jacket on, it’s my P.E. flaring up..

if i yawn, it’s because my P.E. kept me up last night..

if i forget something, the P.E. has eaten into my brain..

this results in P.B. of course..

and on and on..

this is me last night at the looney bin in tulsa..

as is fitting, i pretty much smidged up the smidge bit..

i’m doing an open mic this wednesday..

looney bin..

tulsa, oklahoma..

8 pm.

i was going to do this last week but when i called i found out they have changed the way they fill the board - now they do it the week before..

so i’m on for wednesday..

you read the blog, so you get to see my set list now..

1. smidge - teach audience how to use this word

2. vomit - tell story of guy throwing up at our table at lunch

3. posterboard jokes - one-liners displayed on posterboards

should be fun..

i was looking for an extra joke for the vomit story today when i learned this..

the reason the guy threw up was he had a problem with his esophagus known as “immature sphincter”..

yeah..

should be able to use that..

i promise you i did not teach my son davis his favorite 4th of july phrase, “safety comes last!”..

but i like it..

p.s. i can’t really promise that..

i am a pyromaniac..

i enjoy watching things burn and blow up..

i like the fourth of july..

because i get to make things burn and blow up on that day..

this does not make me the greatest parent or adult supervisor..

tonight i had a bunch of little kids in line throwing firecrackers as I lit them for them..

these were some really cool ones called “tornados” that have waterproof fuses..

so I had the kids throwing them in the lake..

they looked like miniature depth charges going off.. pretty neat..

is this how people get hurt?

maybe.. who knows..

i know it’s definitely how people have fun