Brady’s Blog

this is not a sports blog of any kind..

however, i do watch sports some and take interest, etc..

i happened to catch the end of this today..

chris couch won in dramatic fashion, blah blah blah..

here’s what caught my attention..

right after he holes out the winning shot, he walks over by the green, sweeps this giant dip of tobacco out of his mouth and wipes his hand off on the grass..

he then rinses the rest of the dip out with water and spits it on the ground..

which made me think..

is this not a performance enhancing drug?

because i guarantee you, if you asked chris, he would tell you the absence of that drug in his system at that moment would have definitely affected his level of calm and concentration..

it’s most interesting because you just don’t see this behavior in golf..

true, you will catch john daly with the occasional cigarette burning.. and other guys have been known to smoke cigars during competition..

and it’s not illegal..

but still..

if you were up against this guy.. and there were millions of dollars on the line, wouldn’t you rather he were forced to take that last shot without that dip in his mouth?

i would..

after all the tough talk yesterday (was that just yesterday?), i’d like to say this..

wow..

that was a lot of rain..

we actually got quite lucky..

we had about a 2 hour window to setup camp last night, and another couple of hours of dry sky to strike camp today..

the rest of the time..

rain..

heavy rain..

all night..

the kind of rain where you hope it keeps raining outside the tent - just so you can’t hear the drip drop inside the tent..

have you ever been so wet, you’re not sure you want that nice, warm shower when you get home simply because it involves water?

we didn’t get to float the river - you guessed it - too much rain..

but we did have a nice hike and most of the group still managed to get soaked from head to toe in the creek..

obviously, we didn’t make it the second night..

nobody was very excited about climbing into wet sleeping bags..

so..

we’re home..

safe and dry..

and of course..

as soon as we got home..

it stopped raining..

ok.. we’ll be camping so i won’t be able to post anything tomorrow..

so..

this will serve as tomorrow’s post..

so..

like i was saying.. we’re going camping..

in the rain..

but not everyone - we’ve had a couple of folks wimp back out on us..

now one of them was a kid who had been fighting a cold..

makes sense to me.. i understand..

if i was sick, i wouldn’t be down for camping in the rain either..

but not everyone is sick..

and.. ya know..

i’ve had people calling me all day-

cracker: “this is cracker..”

caller: “hey.. you guys still going camping?”

cracker: “yeah.. we’re goin..”

caller: “sposed to rain ya know..”

cracker: “roger that.. sounds like we’ll be a little wet..”

caller: “yeah.. wow.. ok.. have fun..”

people.. it’s rain..

just rain..

not snow.. or ice.. or molten lava..

just rain..

it lands on your head and gets you wet..

it doesn’t land on your head and turn you into a cricket..

it is rain.. it happens all the time..

now.. would i rather it not rain?

sure.. that would be nice..

but i don’t get to decide..

all i get to decide is whether or not to go camping..

and guess what?

we’re going..

and we’re staying all weekend..

unless it gets cold..

if it gets cold..

i’m coming home..

stew and i are going camping tonight..

it’s going to rain like crazy on us all weekend..

and it’s going to be cold..

and we’re supposed to go floating tomorrow..

in the rain..

and in the cold..

but i got one of these dry bags..

man is that thing sweet..

i don’t know how long we’ll last in there with no air..

but at least we’ll be dry..

please don’t think i’m trying to be clever or eccentric by writing about bob ross..

i’m really not..

but i happened to be reminded of him the other day and it kind of took me back..

during my junior high years, bob’s show aired about the time we got home from school..

of course, the first thing you have to do when you get home from school at that age is eat..

and eat we did..

usually there would be 4 or 5 us raiding the fridge - eating whole jars of pickles, whole bags of chips, and generally whole everythings of anything we could find..

and nothing seemed to go better with that kind of fierce snacking than the soothing sights and sounds of bob ross..

i think we probably starting watching it as a joke.. but we were soon fans - addicted to the amazing spectacle of his transforming blank canvas to perfect, stunning image in 30 minutes or less.. every single time..

i’m sure we made for quite a scene - 4 or 5 “jocks” (cracker being about the least jock of the jocks) stuffing cookies in our faces, swilling pop straight from 2 liters, and absolutely glued to the tube - watching breathlessly as bob turned “a little phthalo blue” and “a touch of cadmium yellow” into masterpiece after masterpiece of mountain scene and abandoned barn..

bob had a phrase.. usually used it when painting clouds and trees..

“just let it happen.. just let the paint floooooooww from the brush..”

like i said.. i’m not trying to be cute or clever by bringing him up..

when i see his picture or hear someone speak of him..

it still takes me back..

and makes me hungry..

for pickles..

here’s a pretty common restaurant scene..

young waiter has a 4-top of young ladies..

he’s showing off.. acting cool.. bringing all the smooth he can bring, etc..

as he’s dropping the check, he drops hints about what time he’s getting off work, etc.. hoping to get some reaction..

if he’s really super lucky, when the girls leave, they’ll leave a phone number along with the tip..

if he’s really UNlucky, he’s working a shift with cracker - in which case he gets what he thinks is the digits of one of these young ladies..

in fact it is the phone number of the local newspaper..

not quite as exciting for him..

but pretty funny for cracker

this is a little trick i used to pull..

it’s another restaurant story i guess.. but it could work elsewhere..

i used to do this at one of the places i worked at in branson..

we had two-way radios which were used by the hostesses and managers to coordinate the ridiculously complicated task of seating guests.. for some reason, you need a full CentCom situation to figure out “oh.. that tables empty.. they could sit there..”

anyway.. when these things weren’t in use, i would take one of the radios and place it behind one of the computers we used to ring stuff up, print checks, etc..

then i would take the other radio to the other end of the restaurant and wait for one of the unsuspecting waitresses to take the bait..

sooner or later, i’d get a bite..

waitress walks up to computer terminal..

types in code, starts ringing up food..

i use the radio to talk “through” the computer..

computer: “ERR-OR”

waitress: “what? what error?”

computer: “please re-enter food order..”

waitress: “ok.. whatever..”

she re-enters the order (which will make her really popular in the kitchen) and starts to walk away..

computer: “ERR-OR”

waitress: “what now? geez..”

computer: “you have entered the wrong code..”

waitress: “what code?” (retypes her employee code.. getting frustrated..)

computer: “no.. not that code.. the other code..”

waitress: “what other code?”

computer: “please enter your phone number..”

waitress: “what?” (enters phone number) “there.. you happy?”

computer: “not really.. how about your friend’s phone number? she’s kinda hot..”

and about that time, everyone at my end of the joint would be laughing so loud the joke would come to an abrubt end and usually something would get thrown at me..

fun trick.. feel free to try it out..

another good one is to sneak one of the radios into a persons apron and then talk to the people at his or her tables while pretending to be a small animal stuck in his or her pants..

“hello!! get me out of here!!”..

that kind of thing..

of course, for these kind of pranks, it helps if your friends have bulbs that burn right around 40 watts or lower..

if they’re any brighter than that..

it just doesn’t seem to work..

i went to chick-fil-a today..

their wraps are quite good..

and homer says the southwest spicy whatever salad is good - has a good kick to it..

anyway..

i needed some change..

cracker: “could you break this 20 for me? - 2 fives and 10 ones if you can..”

chick-fil-a chick: “uh.. i don’t have any tens..”

cracker: “ok.. um.. how about 2 fives and 10 ones then?”

chick: “uh.. ok.. hold on.. i could just give you 4 fives..”

now the drawer is open, and i can clearly see a stack of singles and plenty of fivers, so i’m having a little trouble recognizing the difficulty of the transaction..

cracker: “or.. how about 2 fives and 10 ones? or maybe 3 fives and 5 ones?”

chick: “well sir.. you only gave me a 20.. oh wait.. ok.. yeah.. that would be right - 2 fives and 10 ones.. yeah.. ok.. sorry..”

so she promptly counts out 2 fives and 11 singles and gives them to me..

i returned the extra buck to her..

i would have kept it, but i was afraid that was the one evil dollar bill that had sucked her brain out through her ear..

i remember a time when it was cool to wear buttons..

ok.. granted.. it wasn’t overly cool.. but it was certainly accepted..

this was high school.. freshman year maybe.. around then..

i had two favorites..

one was a black button that said “over the hill”..

the other said “one in the oven”..

i wore them both with pride, but rarely at the same time..

didn’t want to confuse people..

well..

survived it..

actually wasn’t that bad..

i’m sure i slowed tlb down a bit since his stride is about a yard longer than mine.. (the “t” in tlb is for “tall”)..

but overall, we made better time than i thought i would be able to make..

i believe our time was 37 minutes and 16 seconds..

oh.. and i came in second in my division..

that’s the “30-40 year olds who came in tlb’s truck” division..

i’m going to train like crazy to win that title next year..

overall, i wouldn’t want to do it every day but it was quite fun..

i bet it’s a real blast if you’re there to try to win the thing..

there were some guys up front really haulin’ the mail..

they were like actually running running..

crazy..

just crazy..