Brady’s Blog

conversation from about 4 minutes ago..

davis: “um daddy.. you know what?”

daddy: “what buddy?”

davis: “um.. i used-ed to steal your money..”

daddy: “you used to steal my money? but you don’t anymore?”

davis: “yeah.. i used-ed to.. but i don’t now..”

daddy: “really? and why is that davis?”

davis: “um.. ‘cuz it’s not right to steal..”

daddy: “that’s right.. it’s not right to steal davis..”

davis: “yeah.. and i have enough money now..”

ok folks..

recipe time..

don’t ever complain ole cracker doesn’t cover all the bases..

claire and i were on the way home from somewhere the other day..

daddy: “claire.. we need to cook a nice dinner for mommy and the boys..”

claire: “yesh!! i hep cook!!”

daddy: “ok.. you got it.. what should we cook for dinner?”

claire: “apples!!”

daddy: “roger that.. apples it is..”

here’s what i did when we got home..

1st - thaw/quick marinate chicken

place frozen chicken breasts in freezer or other ziplock bag

add italian dressing of any kind or just vinegar and oil to bag

add any other seasonings to bag you feel like throwing in there (i usually add some garlic among other things)

IMPORTANT - get as much of the air out of the bag as possible - this will help the chicken thaw much faster and marinate more completely - i do this by zipping the bag over to one corner and sucking the air out - looks goofy but works like a champ..

place the chicken in a large bowl or other container large enough to hold the whole bag - place the sealed bag in that container and fill with cold water - then leave it under the tap WITH THE WATER RUNNING - people like to ignore this and turn the water off - when you do that, the frozen chicken keeps the water too cold to thaw the chicken.. the water doesn’t have to be running fast.. just a trickle will keep the water flowing and let the meat thaw.. just leave the water running, people.. trust me..

also.. the bag needs to be submerged.. if it’s floating to much and the chicken is not down in the water, put another, heavier bowl or something on top of the bag to keep it down..

2nd - apples

peel, core, and slice 4 apples

there’s actually more vitamins, fiber, etc in this dish with the apple peel left on but i don’t like cooked apple skins.. so.. ya know..

you can slice these any way you please.. i just kind of chunked mine - 1/2 inch thick or so is fine.. doesn’t matter as long as they’re reasonably consistent..

place chopped apples in large sautee pan

add apple juice, apple sauce, cinnamon, sugar, honey, caramel sauce (i threw this in because we had one of those mcdonalds caramel things they give you with their apples), spoonful of dijon mustard, brown sugar, splash of lemon juice..

stir and cover - medium heat - let it sit until the chicken is finished thawing.. (+/- 20 minutes)

get your couscous stuff out and ready to roll but don’t start it yet - directions will be different by brand but it shouldn’t take more than 8 minutes or so to cook..

once the chicken is thawed, start the grill..

start the couscous..

stir the apples.. adjust heat if necessary..

grill the chicken..

couscous should be finished by the time the chicken is done..
apples should be in good shape now too.. you’re really just cooking to the preferred consistency here - i like them a little crunchy - you might cook them a little longer..

3rd now the presentation..

i like to cut a wedge of the couscous instead of fluffing it.. makes a more striking presentation..

so..

cut a wedge of couscous or dump a pile of it on the center of the plate..

cut one chicken breast longways creating two long “sticks” of chicken..

lay those “sticks” across the couscous either flat on top or leaned over and crossed (i crossed mine)

take a bunch of the cooked apples and place them on top.. letting the gooey stuff run down through the chicken and into the couscous..

serve..

graciously give all credit to cracker as you are praised, thanked, and admired..

you’ll notice there’s no list of ingredients or measurements anywhere in this recipe..

that’s how a recipe should be.. everyone who makes this is going to produce a unique dish.. you’ll add your own ideas and make changes according to your own tastes and preferences..

also.. i am too lazy to measure or provide you with measurements and i don’t really care how yours turns out..

so.. there’s that reason, too..

i don’t mind this..

as long as there’s not another one of these..

one was bad enough..

turn around bright eyes..

nice headline, huh?

i was 16 or 17..

we lived in texas..

i had a friend named adam sanchez..

i think i only went to his house one time.. it was a treat..

crazy mexican kids running everywhere..

i’m not telling you anything he wouldn’t say himself, believe me..

at one point we were in the hallway just kind of hanging out and this kid.. about 5 or 6.. came flying into the room in his socks and shorts.. no shirt..

he slid to a stop, threw up his hands revealing his freddy krueger toy razor hands..

and he screamed at us..

“JESUS SAYS TO KILL!!”

i don’t know if you’ve ever had a little mexican kid scream that at you.. my guess is you haven’t..

but if you do.. just laugh it off..

don’t let it freak you out or anything..

of course, if you can somehow not get freaked out by that.. you don’t need my advice..

because you’re obviously a robot..

here’s a couple of band names i’ve come up with..

the wet pennies
jimmy mccloud and the gaseous masses

i think i like the wet pennies better..

i think i’ve mentioned my extremely brief and obscure acting career in this space before..

i went to college on a theatre scholarship, etc..

i don’t think i’ve ever mentioned how that whole thing started..

i was on my way out of the building at my high school one day when i wandered by the drama class where they were having auditions for the school musical..

i went in to audition as a joke..

i had no song prepared, of course, so i just screamed “jesus loves me” at the top of my lungs..

everybody got a kick out of it.. it was pretty funny..

until i found out i had been cast.. as the lead..

i found this out during the first cold read..

cracker: “um.. i seem to have a lot of lines in this thing..”

jeanine(drama teacher): “yes.. yes you do..”

cracker: “yeah.. like a lot..”

jeanine: “yeah.. do you see that big 1 on the front of your script?”

cracker: “yeah..”

jeanine: “yeah.. that’s your part number.. you’re part 1 - the lead part..”

cracker: “oh %^$#..”

as it turned out, we managed to produce a really bad musical..

i feel certain i was the worst of it.. the freedom and nonchalance i exhibited in the audtion wore off quickly once the pressure of actually performing started to hit me..

i think my mother still has this disaster on vhs..

holding it as blackmail material i’m sure..

a couple of years ago, i got a ticket for running a red light..

i know a couple of folks you who have been in the jeep with me who would probably compare this to locking up the BTK killer for shoplifting, but that’s what happened..

so.. i hadn’t had a ticket for a while.. signed up for ye ole defensive driving class..

what a treat..

you get to burn your entire saturday learning about traffic safety.. the instructor is by definition a complete and utter dork.. every other person in the class is a freak (unless you were in my class, in which case you are the freak).. and it’s actually illegal for the weather to be anything but perfect outside while you sit and die in there.. minute by minute.. just dying..

i decided to make the most of it..

the class was being held in a run-down ramada inn (it’s been demolished since if that tells you anything) so i took my laptop with me on the off chance there would be some wifi handy..

the trick here was not getting the laptop into the classroom but doing it in a way that didn’t seem sneaky and wouldn’t cause a distraction when i booted it up..

the best way to do this, of course, is to swallow your pride and act like you’re a goober just like the instructor..

instructor: “just sign right here people, you’ll need your drivers license and your ticket..”

cracker: “um.. sir? yes.. um.. i brought my laptop with me - is it ok for me to use that to take notes?”

instructor: “well.. yeah.. i guess..”

cracker: “ok.. ‘cuz there’s a test at the end right?”

instructor: “well.. there is.. yes.. but it’s not very hard.. pretty simple really..”

cracker: “well.. i’d rather not take any chances if that’s ok.. i don’t want to miss anything..”

i was flashed two kinds of looks from the people around me in the line..

look one = “oh my.. you are a real weirdo..”

look two = “oh my.. you’re actually going to get away with that, aren’t you?”

so i settled in on the very back row.. next to the window.. power outlet right next to my chair..

turned the chair in front of around to hold the laptop (and block my activity a bit)..

booted up and boom.. wifi.. unencrypted and broadband.. just the way i like it..

spent the entire day surfing, emailing, following all the scores of the different ball games, etc..

i even broke out some headphones at one point and snuck in some internet radio..

i kept this up all day and never once was even suspected of doing anything but taking copius traffic safety notes..

and here’s why..

every 20 minutes or so.. i would take a break from the computer and ask a couple of questions - one really dumb one and a follow up..

cracker: “so.. do all states have pretty much the same laws with regard to child safety restraints and car seats?”

instructor: “actually.. no they don’t.. for instance, in iowa a child may be required to be in a car seat until the age of 7, while in missouri that age limit may be 5..”

cracker: “so.. how should one handle that on a long trip or when crossing state lines? what is the liability there?”

and then i would settle back into my seat and back online, every once in a while looking up intently to feint interest in the 25 minute answer to my latest insipid question..

all in all it worked out real well.. the time went by rather quickly..

i even billed an hour of time fixing some stuff on a server for someone..

i’m not saying you should drive like i do (if there’s two of us out there we’re eventually to crash into each other)..

but if you do.. and you get caught.. and you have to take defensive driving..

take your laptop..

and leave your pride at home..

played some golf today..

it was good to get out in the fresh air and remind myself there are still some things in life i just don’t do very well at all..

i’ve always been afraid i’ll hit a hole-in-one after hitting my first shot in the water or out of bounds - this came awfully close to happening today..

i hit one into the water on a par 3, teed up again and planted it about 18 inches from the pin..

mark twain once said golf is a good walk spoiled..

mark.. come on man..

get a cart..

this is the soundtrack from mrs. cracker’s favorite movie..

yes..

favorite..

that’s what she said..

i personally thought the movie had nothing to offer..

before i found out it had a song by ryan adams..

now that i know that, the movie is ok..

of course, i’m not sure it’s better than shawshank..

i’m honored..