Brady’s Blog

if you read this blog, you know i have recently become involved in standup comedy..

i have only “been up” three times, but i am hoping to do more soon..

i find it to be a LOT of fun..

and for me it is a somewhat natural transition for some of the material i have written here..

that is to say, i feel like a good deal of the stuff you have read here will translate rather well to the stage..

but..

it does not rewrite itself..

so.. when i am doing standup, this blog will suffer..

i will try to counter that when i can by providing you video of my performances, but i cannot always guarantee that..

so.. what i’m saying is..

please be patient with me in this process..

i am no less dedicated now than i have ever been to my original objective, which is to write comedy..

but not all of the comedy i write now will make it to this space..

so hang tight..

i am still here..

working for you..

yanking yuks out of you like so many still-healthy teeth..

bottom line..

NOTHING HAS CHANGED..

it’s not like i died..

or starting playing world of warcraft..

is there anything dumber than a roadside memorial cross?

here’s what the roadside memorial cross tells the world:

“hello there random automobile driver.. guess what? somebody died somewhere around here.. you have no idea who it was.. or what happened.. or if it was their fault or somebody else’s.. you don’t know anything.. just somebody is dead.. so thanks for looking over here!”

what a wonderful tribute..

oh, it also tells the world there is someone stupid enough to park his or her vehicle on the side of this busy highway and risk his or her life to stick a cross in the ground in honor of someone who was killed on that same busy highway..

presumably if that person got killed putting out a cross, someone would come along and build a memorial in his or her honor..

and so on and so on, until everyone is dead..

which is how the world would end if i was writing the story..

this past wednesday was my third time to do stand-up comedy..

i think it was my best performance yet, despite a couple of rookie mistakes..

first rookie mistake?

somebody’s cell phone rang about one minute into my set.. and i let it distract me..

i think the thing with a cell phone or like disturbance is you have to either completely ignore it or go all the way in confronting it..

instead i just kind of said “oh great.. a phone call..”

not good..

and totally messed up a punchline..

so.. for the first time i was privileged to enjoy that “oh what just happened” feeling..

but just a minute or two later i got probably the biggest laugh i’ve earned off of a line that was not prepared at all..

THAT IS A BLAST!

that.. to me.. so far.. is what it is all about..

being me..

and being funny..

because here’s the thing..

standup comedy is not a new thing..

and on any given night, there are a couple thousand guys standing up in front of a couple thousand “brick” walls..

and they all have jokes..

but if i can be me..

and be funny..

nobody else can do that..

that’s what i’m striving for..

so overall it was a fun night and a great continuation to this learning experience..

i also got to see a comedian that i really liked..

his name is mike speenberg..

he was the feature act on what seemed to me to be an upside down bill.. (in other words, he was the feature act but was funnier than the headliner)..

oh.. and the club spelled his name wrong (speamburg) on the marquis and on their website..

so that was good..

good people of earth!

believe me when i tell you this!

i will NOT be appearing at the looney bin in tulsa, oklahoma until the 29th of this month!

then, i WILL be appearing!

and doing comedy!

also knows as standup comedy!

because i will be standing up!!

and i will probably do all of this in a very yelly voice!

just like this!!

thank you!

my beautiful bride goes out of her way to teach decency and character to our children..

i do not go out of my way to teach them how to be subversive and hypercritical..

they come by it naturally..

for instance..

one of the things my bride has drilled into them is this..

god first, others second, myself third..

it’s called the “i’m third” philosophy..

so, yesterday, our seven year old son davis had this question..

“but mommy.. if everyone does god first, others second, and their self third.. how does that work? that seems kinda hard.. like nothing would ever happen..”

we had a good chuckle over that..

i don’t like to encourage such smart aleck behavior..

but privately, as someone who has had the question “what if everyone did that?” accusingly posed to him a thousand times..

i was glad to finally hear it turned around..

ok..

this one is going to be tough..

delicate, as they say..

this is about my meniere’s syndrome..

and the way the guys at work refer to it..

i want to write about this because it is funny and has made me laugh a hundred times over the last few months..

but again..

it’s delicate..

basically, they have a name for my disease..

the initials are P.E.

the second word is ear..

the first word is not pterodactyl..

here is how they use this phrase..

it’s usually something like this..

(in the most sarcastic voice possible) “what’s the matter? your P.E. acting up on you?!”

makes me laugh every time..

even when i really am having P.E. issues, it still gets me..

and i’m not writing this to show everyone how self actualized i am and how i can take a joke aimed at me, etc..

i really just think it’s funny..

and they mix it up a lot too, of course..

attributing all kinds of ridiculous ailments and symptoms to my P.E.

if i’m cold and put my jacket on, it’s my P.E. flaring up..

if i yawn, it’s because my P.E. kept me up last night..

if i forget something, the P.E. has eaten into my brain..

this results in P.B. of course..

and on and on..

this is me last night at the looney bin in tulsa..

as is fitting, i pretty much smidged up the smidge bit..

i’m doing an open mic this wednesday..

looney bin..

tulsa, oklahoma..

8 pm.

i was going to do this last week but when i called i found out they have changed the way they fill the board - now they do it the week before..

so i’m on for wednesday..

you read the blog, so you get to see my set list now..

1. smidge - teach audience how to use this word

2. vomit - tell story of guy throwing up at our table at lunch

3. posterboard jokes - one-liners displayed on posterboards

should be fun..

i was looking for an extra joke for the vomit story today when i learned this..

the reason the guy threw up was he had a problem with his esophagus known as “immature sphincter”..

yeah..

should be able to use that..

i promise you i did not teach my son davis his favorite 4th of july phrase, “safety comes last!”..

but i like it..

p.s. i can’t really promise that..

i am a pyromaniac..

i enjoy watching things burn and blow up..

i like the fourth of july..

because i get to make things burn and blow up on that day..

this does not make me the greatest parent or adult supervisor..

tonight i had a bunch of little kids in line throwing firecrackers as I lit them for them..

these were some really cool ones called “tornados” that have waterproof fuses..

so I had the kids throwing them in the lake..

they looked like miniature depth charges going off.. pretty neat..

is this how people get hurt?

maybe.. who knows..

i know it’s definitely how people have fun